It’s no secret that I love the cinema, especially classic films from the 1960s and 70s, Jean-Luc Godard and Fellini, experimental works from Kenneth Anger and Derek Jarman, the science fiction of Tarkovsky, or (rest in peace), the surreal fantasies of David Lynch. I adore psychological dramas, weird and eerie tales, odd characters and seductive villains - even the exceptionally evil ones, the ones you love to hate.
Cinema is captivating precisely because of its power to play with desire, to manipulate and shape our desires. Thus, it has a few things in common with what we do in BDSM. The structure of the film itself, the way action plays out in particular scenes, increasing tension to its climactic release, parallels the dynamics of the scenes we create as SM players. This reminds me of the German phrase often used when describing the psychological unfolding of SM scenes: Kopfkino, an internal cinema.
Common filmic tropes influenced my own BDSM practice, from the mysterious, elegant appearance of the femme fatale to the delectable cruelty of the manipulative seductress. Role-play is one of my session favorites. I take pleasure in acting, in the presence that it requires and the creativity that comes with it. Whether I am a rather sultry interrogator trying to make my victim confess to me, or a strict teacher disciplining misbehaving students, these naughty fantasies give me an opportunity to go deeper into the scene, stimulating both mind and body.
Additionally, there is a cathartic quality to BDSM, in the way we explore intense emotions, creating space for that which the rest of our lives does not often give us room to feel. Having the freedom to be expressive, to moan as loudly as you like while being edged to the point of madness, or to scream as you feel the sharp pain of a whip, is a great relief. BDSM offers the possibility of entering an in-between time, a Zwischenzeit, where the usual social norms are suspended. We cannot totally escape the world during this time, because the world is always there. In day to day life we are surrounded by power dynamics, at work, at the doctor’s office, at school, and the role-play of BDSM makes a game out of them, with a kind of teasing, intelligent self-awareness. Similar to the cinema, BDSM captivates because of what it reveals about us, about how we experience reality, about the very human structure of our fantasies and desires.
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